Your reality is a reflection of what you secretly tell yourself

When we speak of communication, most of us think of that which happens with other people. Intrapersonal communication is less spoken of yet it is powerful too in building ourselves. Your inner voice can be your greatest motivator or your worst critique and has the power to transform your life

Your life is like a movie. Write down all the parts you need to see and they will materialize. We are the heroes and heroines of our stories. But most of the time, the hero/heroine does not believe he or she can do it. What story have you told yourself?

My story was not about not being good enough but one in which I settled for things I should have never settled for. I was afraid to go out and do what I had a passion for. Even though I thought I deserved more and thought I could do more, I kept telling myself, the little I had was better than nothing. So I tried to find happiness in things that were underneath me, a job that was paying me less than a tenth of what I deserved. I kept feeling that my employers were doing me a favor and that’s how I self-destroyed myself for the past decade. I also never bothered to write anything because I told myself, who would read this? What I secretly told myself kept me in fear and held me from exploring.

Until I decided to change my story, my life never got better. I changed the limiting stories I was telling myself by realizing that I deserved better. Even though I knew this all along but I kept shutting that voice within me. I guess it’s true, you will learn the lessons you most need when you are ready for them.

This is why I decided to write this article. The current state of your life is a direct result of what you tell yourself and what you believe is possible. Every moment is a chance to rewrite your story, a new draft ready to be crafted into something better. As Norman Vincent Peale said, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

5 Steps on how to change your story

Step 1: identify what it is that you tell yourself

My first step was to identify my private conversations with myself. What is it that you tell yourself? Do you feel that you deserve less or everyone is doing you a favor? Or maybe half a loaf is better than nothing and you don’t deserve better? Do you tell yourself that you will never succeed in what you aim to do? What limiting story are you telling yourself?

Step 2: Change your story

If you have identified your story then it’s time to change it. For me, it was simply deciding to step out of the things that were demeaning to me. A job I didn’t love, and relationships that gave me nothing but torture and grief. Think of how you want to change your story and do it!

Step 3: Match your new story with reality

Changing your story is not enough if it doesn’t match reality. Your story needs to be realistic. For example, you can’t say you will be a medical doctor in 2 years because it takes over 6 years to qualify. When I started with for example blogging, I didn’t say, in a month’s time I will be the best blogger, I knew it would take hours of writing, research, and learning from other bloggers. For example with my crafting business, I knew I had the talent but also knew I needed to work very hard to improve my talent and be recognized among many other crafters. What evidence around you can support your story? Do you have the talent and the education, or are you a hard worker? What is going to support your story?

Step 4: Turn that story into action

Without action, all our plans will just be mere wishes. Change will only come into our lives when we start acting upon it. Challenge yourself to act.

I challenged myself to start writing and also to start working on getting my business off the ground. It hasn’t been easy but I have forced myself to do it. As soon as I started, I began to see things from a new perspective and see opportunities I never knew existed.

Step 5: Stick with your story and be consistent and persistent

What changes overnight is the weather, besides miracles, life takes time to change. The circumstances around you will take time but with consistency and persistence, they will soon turn around. Take small steps every day but be consistent.

In Conclusion, always know;

Changing the way you speak to yourself will change the way you feel about yourself. Be aware of what you’re saying to yourself. You might be surprised at just how often you put yourself down. Discard negative self-talk and always speak positively to yourself.

I would love to hear from you so please, leave a comment for me below, and if you found this useful, subscribe to the site and share it with others.

If you need to speak to a professional counsellor, don’t forget to get in touch with Psyche and Beyond.



Whatsapp: +2761 853 0124

Email: /

You can also follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin, and Tiktok for more mental health tips.