Dating In the 21st Century

Gone are the days when we used to date blindly and just have to trust the other person simply because they have said they love us. In the 21st century, ‘I Love you is no longer a phrase to guarantee trust. We exercise what I would like to call, “Cautious dating”

Dating can be very exciting and fun-filled however, we are living in a dangerous world where one must always be careful. Cases of kidnapping, rape and violence are trending in the news each and every day and the least we can do is not turn a blind eye on them.

It may seem fictitious until it happens to you and this includes both males and females. Below are some tips that I thought could help to ensure one’s safety.

Cautious dating tips

1. There is nothing like, “our relationship is our little secret”

The moment you start dating someone, make sure there is a relative or friend who knows about your whereabouts and you share information about your partner with them so that they are in the picture. Share your partner’s full name, phone number, and even home address if you have to.

2. Share with someone when going out on a date

Even whilst on the date, if you feel uncomfortable, excuse yourself, go to the restroom, and text somebody about it.

3. Stick to your original plan with your date

If you agreed to meet for lunch in a public place, don’t end up being asked to deviate from your plans and go to their place or a more private space. Though it may seem like a better plan at the time due to your emotions, a lot can go wrong there.

4. If possible, use your own transportation for the first dates

If your date is picking you up, before you get overwhelmed, capture that number plate, the car type, and color and text your confidant.

5. Make it as simple as possible

For the first date, do not organize something hectic. Something simple may help you in deciding whether you are comfortable having another date or you would want to call it quits. That would be difficult if you have a complex first date that you have to stick through with a person you are feeling uneasy with.

6. Trust is earned but I would advise you to keep yours in God

Do not leave your food unattended whilst going to the bathroom or for a smoke. Date rape is real and is happening, the next thing you will remember is just having that drink or food and the rest is history.

7. If you are taking alcohol, keep it to a minimum level

There is a lot that can go wrong when you are under the influence of alcohol.

8. Listen to your sixth sense

Others call it instinct or gut feeling, whatever you wanna call it,  and my advice is if it tells you something is not right, chances are, it’s not right! Politely excuse yourself if you feel uncomfortable, you owe it to yourself.

9. This is one of the most difficult ones; Set boundaries!

Whether emotional or physical ones, set boundaries! Don’t let someone just wander off into your private space if you don’t feel comfortable, that’s self-abusing. Anyone who truly cares about you will respect your boundaries.

10. The last one. People meet to part and part to meet

Be bold enough to end any relationship you feel is not good for you.

As much as the above may seem very easy but putting it into practice may help save you a lot of trauma, heartache, and even your life. Happy month of love to you all!

If you need to speak to a professional counsellor, get in touch with Psyche and Beyond. It’s affordable and it works!



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